im up...
i took a nap earlier..becuz ya...STUPID PARENTS...
Today in the morning my mom and i started talkin bout college again..and i HATE talkin bout that shit with them..cuz they the ones that r gon make me suffer n shit...Well anywhos..i was like well wtf ..i dont wanna be a nurse or doctor..i wanna go to FIDM and major in product development like i said b4..then she was all tellin me that she dint say i coulnt do that...omg then i got so heated..and was like wtf?! did u go to the meetin i set up..so u could actually learn bout i wannna do in life...and she was all "yeah" (i unno why cuz she dint..she was juss fuckin thinkin i was jokin around or sumtin) and i was like...wtf?! she was being a smart ass or sumtin with me..and then i was like well no i dont think u did..cuz i remember you rather sleepin then see wut i wanna do..and where i wanna go..and all she did was laugh at me...wtf!? is a parent supposed to do that..im like hella serious here..and shes here laughin..me stressin cuz i unno wtf im doin after h/s and shes juss laughin not givin a fuck n shit..becuz like she said..if she did go to the meetin...the info would go in one ear and our the other...cuz she dint really care...ya thass wut she told me straight up...ya..thanx mom..
so anyways...came to school 3 periods late with em..took physics test...and basically mah regular boring skoo day took place..man in life management...we were watchin videos n ish..i felt so awkward cuz i was like gettin teary eyed n ish...i unno man..i juss dont like cryin in front of peeps n ish..i dont need that kind of attention...but ya...the video was bout rents n ish how they abuse their child...well i mean i know for fact i aint abused ..physically..well back then i used to get hit..but i think erryone did..anywhos..and ya..then talkin bout parents criticize..thass how i feel...all they do is see the bad in me..and never anything good...ya blah...anyways..after skoo was drill team prac n ya...dad took me home...man its so gay cuz stupid ass rents only pick me up wen mah bro needs to get picked up..their asses still dont give me a ride to work or anywhere i need to go...wutever.. in the car..mah bro was all talkin to me n then he looked at mah face and was like "opps sorry ate..i see ur not in the mood" and mah dad all asked why i aint in the mood...and then there i go again....heated..and i juss busted out..cuz u guys arent supportin me for college! and then he was all sayin because i get mah mom mad and shit..i was like wtf?! and then he was all..wut did i tell you?! you need to be a nurse! i told him that i found a job i would enjoy more..and i didnt want to be a nurse...then he asked me what was wrong with me..and that i wouldnt succeed in what i wanted to do..and shit..and ya...i started cryin..and he was all why u cryin...nothing to cry bout..sayin i dumb for cryin..fuckin asshole..thanx dad..
i went home and went to sleep after that..i dint wanna think bout it..cuz that shit juss makes me blah and ya..
now im awake at like 1 in the mornin...and i cant sleep now cuz i slept pretty long..and ya..sorry for those of u that read that..i know it was kinda a waste..cuz its nada but blahness...but this is how i feel now..
not to mention this ish with mah fluccaz...i dont even know wuts goin on there...no one really talks...and no one takes the time to..everyone is busy so i guess its all good...i mean there is a break and lunch period u guys ...if yall to busy after skool...i mean its basically me chillin in the quad anyways..and they wonder why i dont chill wit them after skoo..cuz we never talk.. duh..
and u know what i do want to take the time and understand everyones side..but if no confrontation is goin to happen..i really dont know how thats going to happen..kinda impossible there..unless u want to communicate thru xanga's ..its slower..but ok..
nonster: What can I do? I can't appologize for the way that i feel. It's not like I made this whole shit up. Would you just prefer me not to say anything? It's not even worth talking about because we're all too damn stubborn to understand where each other is comming from. I just can't wait to be done.
you know..it woulda been better if u juss talked bout it in the first place...and not with everyone else to tell us..and juss ignore us and give us sum attitude..when you know mah ass be clueless all the time...gosh.. i unno doode..
deng..family is a bitch...i got some pretty good friends..juss that i unno erryone is so distant it sux....and love...man lets not even go there..school..sux and i cant wait to grad..but then again i dont even know if i can go to college...cuz that shit is all screwed...
soooooo my overall life righ now on a scale from 1-10..i give it...a 5 ..juss cuz sleep...food...and stuff i aint posed to be doing..makes life ok..ok im gone...*poofies*
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